These Advice shared by My Dad That Helped Us during my time as a New Dad

"I believe I was just trying to survive for the first year."

Former Made In Chelsea personality Ryan Libbey anticipated to cope with the demands of fatherhood.

However the reality quickly turned out to be "very different" to what he'd imagined.

Serious health problems during the birth saw his partner Louise hospitalised. Abruptly he was thrust into acting as her primary caregiver as well as caring for their infant son Leo.

"I took on every night time, every nappy change… each outing. The duty of mother and father," Ryan explained.

After 11 months he reached burnout. It was a conversation with his parent, on a bench in the park, that made him realise he needed help.

The simple words "You're not in a good place. You must get some help. In what way can I support you?" created an opening for Ryan to talk openly, look for assistance and regain his footing.

His story is not uncommon, but rarely discussed. Although society is now better used to addressing the strain on moms and about postpartum depression, less is said about the challenges fathers go through.

Asking for help is not weak to ask for help

Ryan feels his challenges are symptomatic of a larger inability to talk among men, who continue to absorb harmful perceptions of manhood.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the rock that just takes the pounding and doesn't fall time and again."

"It isn't a show of weakness to ask for help. I was too slow to do that fast enough," he adds.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a researcher specialising in mental health pre and post childbirth, notes men frequently refuse to admit they're having a hard time.

They can think they are "not justified to be seeking help" - particularly ahead of a new mother and infant - but she highlights their mental state is just as important to the family.

Ryan's conversation with his dad gave him the chance to ask for a break - going on a few days away, separate from the family home, to gain perspective.

He realised he had to make a shift to pay attention to his and his partner's emotions alongside the day-to-day duties of caring for a newborn.

When he was honest with Louise, he saw he'd overlooked "what she longed for" -physical connection and hearing her out.

'Parenting yourself

That realisation has changed how Ryan views parenthood.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his experiences as a dad, which he wishes his son will read as he grows up.

Ryan hopes these will help his son to better grasp the language of emotional life and understand his decisions as a father.

The idea of "reparenting" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four years old.

When he was young Stephen did not have consistent male guidance. Despite having an "amazing" relationship with his dad, long-standing trauma meant his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, making difficult their bond.

Stephen says bottling up feelings resulted in him make "poor choices" when younger to alter how he was feeling, finding solace in substance use as a way out from the pain.

"You find your way to things that are harmful," he explains. "They can briefly alter how you are feeling, but they will eventually make things worse."

Advice for Coping as a New Father

• Share with someone - if you feel under pressure, tell a friend, your other half or a professional about your state of mind. It can help to reduce the stress and make you feel less isolated.
• Keep up your interests - make time for the activities that helped you to feel like you before becoming a parent. It could be exercising, socialising or playing video games.
• Pay attention to the physical stuff - a good diet, staying active and when you can, sleep, all contribute in how your emotional health is doing.
• Spend time with other parents in the same boat - listening to their stories, the difficult parts, and also the joys, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Know that seeking help isn't failing - looking after yourself is the most effective way you can care for your family.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the loss, having had no contact with him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's resolved not to "perpetuate the cycle" with his own son and instead provide the security and nurturing he missed out on.

When his son is about to have a meltdown, for example, they do "shaking it out" together - processing the frustrations safely.

Each of Ryan and Stephen state they have become more balanced, healthier men due to the fact that they faced their struggles, transformed how they express themselves, and figured out how to control themselves for their children.

"I am now more capable of… sitting with things and handling things," states Stephen.

"I expressed that in a message to Leo recently," Ryan shares. "I wrote, on occasion I feel like my purpose is to instruct and tell you what to do, but actually, it's a two-way conversation. I am understanding an equal amount as you are in this journey."